Greg Laid an Egg!
by dgj212
Summary: Greg wakes up one morning to find that he laid an egg.
1. Egg 1

It came up on space battles and my opinion is that the stands, Echoes, Survivor, Sex Pistol, The Hand, Oh Lonesome Me, and Hierophant Green would suit Greg (the stand were not given in any particular order). Probably gonna make some weird messed up one-shot with Survivor!Greg in the future. fI don't know if I'll be able to match the Greg Zfighter18 or Ironypus created but I'm happy to see where this goes. READ, ENJOY-you get it!

I don't own JJBA or Worm, they belong to thier respective creators.

* * *

 _What is good? T_ _ **h**_ _e guY who wrot_ _ **e**_ _the a_ _NntiChriSt_ _would say_ _ **i**_ _t'_ _ **s**_ _WhateVer argUmentS poWer._

 _Sadness= wakness_

The sound of pencil erasing the paper could be heard in the room as a blond teen worked on his notes.

 _Sadness=weaknesS; whateVer makes you Weak or comes from bein_ _ **g**_ _weak._ _Weakness._

 _How do yoU ObtaiN t_ _ **r**_ _ue hapPiNeSs? Ov_ _ **e**_ _rcOmin_ _ **g**_ _weaKness, basickly._

" _I hate my handwriting,"_ the blond boy decided, he rested his back on his office chair and blew a slight raspberry. He stared at his textbook, a collection of other people's work, they read a few passages in class and he was just jotting down what he could remember. He also did not care how his notes came out. Sure he corrected a few spelling errors but he honestly didn't care.

He sighed again. This wasn't supposed to happen.

He left it at school, tucked away in a notebook full of scribbles, a random mix of notes and doodles, locked away safely behind his assigned locker. Sadly his parents we're smarter than the average bear and called his teacher. He had forgotten that at the last parent-teacher conference, they had gotten all of his teachers' phone numbers. A certain teacher spilled the beans on his test, more importantly, how he was doing overall.

He sighed.

Honest answer? "Greg Veder is not doing so hot right now."

* * *

 **Earlier**

* * *

"Hey-ah, Gregory," never a good sign when a name is called like that, "I heard the test result came back? How'd you do?"

"Fine," Greg mumbled through his cheekful of mash potatoes.

"Really? Just fine?" Despite eating, Greg was more or less feeling like he couldn't eat another bite, yet he shoved the food into his mouth if only to have an excuse to say nothing. Mouthful, he just nodded. "He's fine, dear."

"So I hear," Mom said as she cut into her meat. "I suppose 52 is 'fine,' isn't it? And your overall grade, I think the Mr. Geoffrey said it was around the same number," Greg went still. Greg forced every fiber of his being to focus on the cauliflower on his plate. "Gregory, lookup." Greg did as he was told.

"Greg...did you study?"

"I," he swallowed whatever was left in his mouth, spit pretty much. He nodded, "I reviewed. Before the test," he added.

" _Right_ before the test?"

"...Kinda," Greg answered.

The table was silent for a bit, a bit too awkward for Greg's liking…way too awkward.

"Tsk," he sucked on his teeth before he asked, "how good we're your notes?"

"Um..." Greg wasn't sure how to answer that, mostly because he score sort of answered for him before the question was even asked.

"Not the best I take it." Greg didn't say anything.

"How often did you make notes," his mother asked. Greg took a few second before he shrugged.

"Once in a while."

"I see. That's going to change. If you make it a habit of reviewing right before the test then you need to make it a habit of making better notes more frequently. Isn't that right?"

"..." Greg didn't trust himself to say the right thing, he settled for just nodded.

"Gregory, it's just four classes," he dad said, Greg turned to look at his disappointed gaze, "those grades will go up. You hear?"

"..es..." Greg managed out but he father didn't say anything, he just kept staring at Greg. "Yes, I'll raise them."

" **You better.** " Greg nodded.

"Um...I'm, I'm done. Can I go to my room?"

"Go," his mother said with a dismissive glance and went back to her food. "No video games and if I catch on that computer watching a video or playing games instead of studying, so HELP me god, Greg." Greg didn't say anything. He just nodded, got up from the table and walked to his room.

Once he was behind his door, he let waterworks go.

* * *

 **Present Time**

* * *

Greg wasn't particularly dumb, he was mostly the type that got it the first time around in class...but getting it the first time and maintaining that knowledge are two different things. He mostly procrastinated on doing notes or reviewing for the next day, and he did it again leaving everything for the next day, and again, and again until the next day was the day of the exam.

This is what led to this situation. Him staring at a random notebook taking notes on whatever textbook happened to be in his backpack.

He sighed at his predicament and decided to take a break. A little fun on PHO was overdue.

He logged on to the site and realized he was still banned for a few more hours. He blew out his frustrations and shook his head. He could log on to another alias...if he could remember what the password was and he did not feel like going through the hassle of changing his passwords to something he hasn't used, pretty much all of them. He also didn't feel like making a new alias.

Seeing no other alternative, he decided maybe a snack would take his mind off things, he didn't finish his dinner after all.

Silent as a church mouse, he crept out of his room and made his way to the kitchen. He wasn't some fat kid but he honestly didn't want to face his parents again that night. Greg was actually on the lankier side of things, one might say he was white and skinny as pasta.

Once he got to the kitchen he opened the freezer and pulled out a purple freeze (freezie) pop, the best one. He forced the frozen goodness down to create an empty space for him to cut with a pair of scissors, that done he snuck back to his room.

"I'm worried about him," he heard from down the hallway. The apartment they lived in has the bathrooms outside the room, his dad must have left the door to the room open again after a leak or something. Greg still got nightmares from the first few times his dad forgot to close the door all the way...nights they thought he was asleep.

"I know dear, and with the whole locker thing he told us about in January-I-mean, we need to get him out of there."

"...Isn't there anything your friend can do?"

"Bob said that if Greg can get decent grades he can arrange it so that Greg can transfer after midterms, he'll have to adjust to a new schedule but that's about it. But with how Greg is now, I don't think Arcadia is a possibility."

"...Maybe...Maybe we should consider doing what Ross said."

"Sweetey, Greg can't handle boarding school, I love my brother but he doesn't know my son. We can barely trust Greg here, hell, _I_ barely trust him to make a sandwich without cutting himself. How the hell am I supposed to trust him to study let alone take care of himself in a different state when he barely does it at home?"

"It...it might be a good for him, he'd be on his own, maybe a roommate, he'd be forced to grow up and-"

"Jaimy, the boy _still_ sleeps with a nightlight and he's in high school for Christ's sake! God, Jeff was never like this."

Blowing a sigh out of his nose, Greg entered his room, deciding not to listen anymore, "Jeff was special. It's not fair to-" The was last he heard before he silently closed the door.

Jeffrey Veder, or just Jeff as he liked to be called, was Greg's older brother. He doesn't live at home anymore, he doesn't really talk with any of them anymore. Hell, Greg doesn't even know what Jeff is doing or where he's living. All he knows is that he had a falling out with dad after he graduated high school and hasn't talked to anyone but Ross, Greg's uncle, since. And the thing is...Jeff was the exact opposite of Greg.

Straight A student, captain of the Debate team, won first place once at an Arcadia science fair. His brother actually had Arcadia begging him to attend their school. Greg doesn't remember their names, but he was pretty sure that while his brother was still a freshman, he dated three girls that all looked like they could be models. Greg...is the exact opposite of his brother.

Greg shook his head and simply settled for reading a few comments on PHO. He sucked on his Freeze Pop and read the random threads for what he thought might be interesting. It did not help. He got even more frustrated. The crap everyone was saying, the boring stuff they kept repeating as facts, it was painful to read and not be able to reply back!

By the time Greg finished sucking the last drops of purple melted liquid from the plastic bag, he felt like he was suffocating. He desperately wanted to shout to his heart's content, to yell his discomfort for the world to hear!

But he couldn't.

He tossed the bag into his waste bin, walked to his messy bed while stripping his clothes off. He dug himself underneath his covers, turned his fan on, plugged in his green night light and hit the switch and tried to sleep. He must not have been getting enough air because even though he wasn't moving, the green-lit ceiling looked like was sort of spinning. Greg simply closed his eyes.

Greg didn't believe in monsters but that didn't mean he like being in the dark in silence. His imagination would run wild and assume the worse. So he had the fan on to drown the sounds and the night light...well he liked waking up to the color, yeah, that's the totally the reason…

Trusting in the two, he used his legs and arm to wrap his covers around his body almost like a cacoon, keeping him nice and warm against the cool air the fan blew his way.

He felt comfortable, he felt a bit safe, as if all his troubles and frustrations we're hundreds of miles away. He felt as if he was safe from the world.

 **SWLICH!**

He felt a sharp pain.

He couldn't tell where on his body the pain was coming from but he couldn't stand it, a voiceless cry rasped out his throat, tears he was unaware of already clinging to his cheeks before he even felt the pain, his eyes wide open, all he could see was his dark room illuminated by the green night light. His vision got blurry and then suddenly-

* * *

 **TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII!**

Greg groaned at the sound of his alarm.

 **TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII!**

It was the weekend...why the hell does he even have an alarm set for Saturday morning? Greg had no idea, or least didn't bother to remember at the moment, he just wanted to sleep more. It was routine for him to simply turn if his alarm off and snooze for a few more hours, practically till noon.

 **TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-RII!**

He managed to get one arm out of the covers to turn off the alarm.

 **TI-RI-RI-RII! TI-RI-RI-R-**

Noise gone, he was free to back to….?

...

….!

Greg felt his butt touching something...not only that by his underwear felt a bit loose. He moved a bit and felt something else move-

"AHH!" He tried to jump out of his covers only to realize he was wrapped in them. He worked is way out and ripped the covers off his bed to see what sleeping with Greg.

He was breathing heavy at the thought that maybe it was a spider or a snake or a parahuman animal or something that decided to crawl next to Greg but...it was an egg. A large white egg with weird green patterns surrounded the egg at the base. The egg itself was about as big as an ostrich egg, not that Greg ever saw one, and it was resting on top of Greg's torn underwear.

Greg looked down to, in fact, see that he was in the nude. His boys were in the breeze.

He looked back at the large egg, looking pristine and free of well...you know.

Greg's breathing calmed down.

After a few moments, he finally said something.

"...What the eff?"


	2. Egg 2

Not sure why this took me so long, anyway enjoy!

I don't own Worm or JJBA

* * *

It was pristine and large, big enough that you'd need both hands to make sure there was no way it would fall.

 _What?_

It was white with unusual green patterns, almost like a topographic map where they show you terrain and elevation levels and all that, near the base.

 _What?_

It was on top of a torn pair of underwear. Greg's underwear.

 _What?_

Greg just stared at the egg sitting on top of his ripped underwear, on his bed. He had no idea what was going on. He quickly glanced around his room. He couldn't see any camera or anything to give him a reason to quickly cover himself up.

He went back to staring at the egg. He nodded to himself and got close to it and then quickly tapped it while backing away. Nothing happened. He got in closer and tapped it once more and then quickly backing away.

He nodded to himself when nothing happened and approached, he placed his whole hand on the the egg. He felt along the length of the egg to find that it was unusual. It felt like he was dragging his hand across glass rather than an egg and the really weird thing...it felt like his hand was sticking to the egg. It was almost as if someone made it moist enough for the egg to stick to his hand as like two pieces of smooth glass pressed together with water in between, if that makes sense. Yet despite that, he slid his hand without an resistance. It wasn't...it wasn't cold or warm...it felt...it felt...like body temperature, it wasn't comfortable or the opposite or anything, it just felt...normal.

"Ah," Greg let out when he felt...something. It was in a rhythm, he had his hand on it but it was hard to tell what the rhythm was. He closed his eyes and focused on the rhythm, whatever it was.

It pulsed…it came quick beats of twos...but something was off about it...it….

 **BUMP-BUM-**

It...it sounded a bit like drums to Greg but that clearly wasn't it.

 **THUMP-THUMP**

Not just that….the rhythm of the drums it...it was almost like...like a heartbeat, but...it-

 **THRUMP-THRUMP!**

-was in synch with his heart!

"AAAH!" Greg shouted as soon as he noticed and backed away, the egg stuck to his hand before it unstuck and fell on the floor!

"SHIT!"

 **THUMP!**

"Oh shit," Greg muttered, "good going Greg, you got a giant egg and you scrambled it," he muttered. Then he slightly cocked his head. The egg was fine.

"...okay." He moved his right foot forward and pushed it only for it to spin instead of being pushed. His eyes went wide at that. The egg was on its side spinning.

"Huh," he let out. He did it again. And again. And again.

"Heh." For some reason, he was having a bit of fun. So he kept kicking it around. For some reason, despite being the one kicking it and not the one being spun, he felt a bit like he was on a roundabout they have in the park or when he spins in his office chair. Breath escaped his lips as he smiled.

He kept spinning the egg around as it made a light scratching noise.

Behind him, the door to his room opened. It was Greg's dad in a dress suit. His plan was to walk in, wake his son up so that he'd get an early start to do something productive with his day.

"He-" his words got stuck in his throat when he saw his son, butt naked, back to the door, playing with some white football with his foot. He went slack-jawed.

He stepped back out, closing the door and paused for a moment or two.

"...I need some coffee before I deal with this bullshit," he muttered as he walked to the kitchen, unaware that he failed to notice one detail, he didn't hear anything from Greg's activity.

Greg, blissfully unaware of his father's attempt to get him out of bed, stopped and put his arms out to catch his balance.

"Man what is this thing," he wondered out loud with a wide smile on his face. He shrugged and reached down to pick it up. He tapped it a few times before grabbing it. It had wight to it but Greg didn't really have to struggle to pick it up. By the way it felt, he should have had trouble picking it up but he found himself not minding it all, the weight felt like it was perfect despite the fact that Greg knew it was heavier than what he could manage. "What are you," he muttered.

He turned his back to the door again and tossed the egg in the air.

Greg's mom opened the door, also intent on waking Greg early, already used to Greg's sleeping schedule. She opened her mouth and her words never came out. Her son was in his birthday suit tossing a white football in the air.

"..." she slowly closed the door, and stared at the empty hallway with a blank look. "...He can't live alone, he's not ready," she said to herself, not noticing that her son caught the ball without making a sound.

She walked to the kitchen where her husband was already drinking a mug of coffee. She silently grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup.

"...he still playing with that…." Her husband began but didn't finish.

"Yeah. He still..." She sipped her coffee as her husband nodded.

"...I thought he turned that football into an art project."

"Must've been a different one," she answered before taking another sip from her mug, "...should we get him tested again?"

"No-no he's fine," he answered, "he just needs to get his act together," he sipped his coffee before he checked his watch, then he finished it. "I got to get to work, do you need a ride?"

"Yes please," she sighed.

And pretty soon they were both out the door. Meanwhile back at in Greg's room Greg was still standing nude holding the egg.

"Huh," Greg let out. When he tossed the egg it didn't feel like much but when it slapped back down into his hands he briefly felt that it was heavier before it got lighter.

"This is so weird," he said, slowly spinning the egg forward while holding it with only his two index fingers.

After repeating the actions a few times, Greg shrugged. He was clearly getting nowhere on his own. Was this some sort of power? He doubted parahuman powers did this.

 _You don't see Canary running around laying eggs...did not think that would do it,_ Greg thought to himself as he looked down to see where his blood was flowing, _...Least I'm not a bronie._

He looked at his bed and then to his desktop and then his drawers where he kept his undergarments...

"Alright then...I guess I'm doing this first, then PHO," he announced to no one in particular. He quickly moved to his computer and started looking up naked avian girls...


End file.
